Day 36

Day 36 – October 19th, 2017

Last night was a hard night. I’d had such a great day, but it just hit me that I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I have my plan, but I don’t know if it’s God’s plan. I was just extremely discouraged. I want to follow God’s will for my life, but it’s like He isn’t really telling me yes or no. And so I want to stick to my plan because it’s better than no plan and I don’t hear God saying no to it, but I also don’t hear the yes I’m looking for. The Lord knows I’m a control freak and not knowing and being in control is driving me crazy.

Right now, my plan is to go to Kennesaw State and start the long journey towards becoming a psychiatrist. And then, because KSU doesn’t offer summer classes, during the next two summers I want to pursue an online Associates in Christian Studies. I’m thinking I’ll do it through Shorter University, but I guess I could technically get it from any Christian school that offers online degrees. (Hopefully I will have gotten the chance to tell my parents this before its posted, but oh well if not.)

I don’t feel like it’s a bad plan.. I just don’t know if it’s the plan God wants. If he doesn’t want me at Kennesaw then I honestly pray that they won’t accept me again. Seriously. I need God to just slam that door closed if it’s not the right one. My biggest fear is to have a meaningless life.

On a more positive note, tonight we went to a birthday party for our neighbor, Lydia! She turned 9! They are really good people. We’re hoping and praying that a schedule will work out where her mom, Elisangela, can disciple some of us girls! It was a lot of fun and we had some great cake.

To keep the good news rolling, Madeline and I had a great time at discipleship tonight! Madeline did a great job leading! Bette did an awesome job translating, too. We actually all got to have deep conversation and discussion. It was very encouraging!

We have to be up at 5:45 AM tomorrow to go get some more things done to try and get our extended visa. Really praying that it won’t be a long process.. well longer than it already is and has to be. Also praying that I’ll get a good nap in tomorrow!

5 thoughts on “Day 36

  1. Abigail, it’s not always a slamming door, but you will know if it’s God’s plan when it all works out. Just keep praying and God will show you the way!!! I love you!!❤️

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  2. A big ail your latest blog reminds me of Kristey when she first left for the Navy. One day she went to her Master Sargeant and told him she wanted to go home. He told her how proud her family was of her and that she was going to be a wonderful sailor. Well that worked for then. There will always be times you just want to see and hold your family! But God has a plan for you there! Just imagine you have sewed seeds that would have never been sewed at least the Abigail way. I know God has enabled you to sew seeds you don’t even know you have sewed. You have already changed many lives and you have many more to go!! Hang in there sweetie and you will be soaring on Eagles wings with God’s angels all around you. May you be glorified in the name of Jesus!! We are so proud of you and you are loved by many!! So go transform these people in the name of our LORD!!!

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  3. God has you right where you need to be at this moment in time. You are doing God’s work. You are preparing yourself for the future ,which is really God’s plan and purpose for you. Its easy to be discourage at this point as your are beginning to acclimate yourself to the surroundings of Cape Verde. There are many people praying for you, your team and mission. I think you show a lot of courage as to questioning your plan and God’s will to follow what is right.You maybe the only Christ that these people see So shine your light .

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  4. Abigail, any doubts, fears or discouragement that you are feeling right now are straight from Satan. You are so in God’s will right now Satan is trying to steal your joy and make you doubt not only yourself but your close relationship with God. Live in the moment doll. Enjoy the time you are there and all the seeds you are planting and the lives you are touching. God will reveal his plans for your future in his time, not yours. Believe me, we all struggle with wanting answers “yesterday”. You have so much to be proud of. Look at what you have already accomplished by stepping out in faith, I am so proud of you and love you very much. Aunt Jimmie Lynn

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