Day 21 – October 4th, 2017
Projecto Pepe wore me out today. I don’t know if I was just more tired than usual or if the kids were just more wild than usual. And I still loved every minute I spent there, I just wish I felt more rested so I could be fully there and attentive for the kids.
Language class was so much better today. I really enjoyed it and I understood everything we learned today. I was really glad that today was a better day than yesterday because I just couldn’t handle leaving feeling disappointed and defeated again.
Today has been pretty uneventful. I’ve been in the apartment mostly. I caught up on some Bible reading and looked back over the book we’re studying as a team. I wasn’t necessarily tired today as much as I just felt like I was dragging myself everywhere and I just did not want to leave the apartment.
It’s been a weird day. I’ve had some weird feelings. They aren’t homesick feelings this time at least. They’re worse for me. I just get this overwhelming feeling that I don’t belong or that I’m out of place. I don’t think it’s an Africa thing because I got it back home. I don’t know how to accurately describe it. It’s just a weird feeling that I fully feel in my chest of just dread for interactions and I have a huge urge/desire to just be by myself. Which is hard here. I share an apartment with 5 other girls, a room with another girls, and the 3 boys are always here, too. Which I am definitely not complaining. I know when I get this feeling the worst thing I can do is give into it and seclude myself. So I’m thankful that I really wasn’t alone today. Even if I felt miserable inside all day, I’m thankful for a team that pushes me to be joyful even when they don’t realize they’re doing anything.
I love Wednesday because I love team church. I love worshipping with the people of Cabo Verde, but I will say it is so nice to sing worship songs in english and not need a translator to understand the message. Tonight, well this week really, we’ve been working on sharing our testimonies with the group to get ready to share them with the people here. And even though some stories break my heart for my teammates, I can also say that I can feel it building us closer as we share these intense moments and memories that made us who we are today.
Wether our stories are similar or couldn’t be more different, they all have a few things in common. Such as God’s greater plan, His forgiveness, and the Lord leading us all here and bringing us together.